March Fails - April Changes

This is where I admit that I did not keep up with this and no one is reading anyway. Actually, in March a lot of routines in my life broke down. My webcomic is on hiatus. My vitamin regiment has lapsed and my exercise program is hanging on by a small thread. I also just mis-spelled hiatus and exercise. I haven't volunteered anywhere for weeks and I fear for my karma points. Work is a 50-gallon bucket of stress, anger, anxiety, and exhaustion and although I had some definite triumphs in that arena, they were hardly noticed and not acknowledged.

That's why April will be the month of change! There's a laundry list of items I'd like to change but instead of list them, I'll write a little bit about the process of change. The decisions and progress on a daily basis. Who knows, maybe by the end of April I'll be 10 pounds lighter, unemployed, and 31.

Failure Day 23

Today's Failure (end of today is RIGHT now) : I failed to take any time for myself. I worked 17 hrs. Yes. I fell asleep twice for about 7 minutes. Neither one counted. The first time I woke up having drooled all over myself, the second I was woken by a radio call that sent my heart racing. Not exactly restful.

Failure Day 21

Today's failure: I failed to take a shower. Yep. I'm dirty. I hit the snooze button for a record 1 hr and 15 min. I did not have time to shower. I came home for 2 hrs in the middle of the day. I napped. I did not shower. I will go home late tonight. I will probably not shower. I fail.

Failure Days 16-20

Really? REALLY? I haven't posted in 5 days?! I've obviously been trapped in a time warp.

So here's 5 failures in no particular order:

1) I failed to see Alex & Elliot as much as I wanted. Work just interfered. Simple as that.

2) I failed to do the laundry this week. My laundry.

3) I've failed to find my lost earring. Last seen with laundry.

4) I failed to come up with a plan for my life.

5) I also did not do anything PT.

Failures Day 14-15

Failure for March 14th: Failed to not drink too much at a concert. I've developed a drinking cliff in my old age, I'm fine and then one drink pushes me over. I didn't puke in the alley I'm told, but I have a nasty bruise in my elbow.

Failure for March 15th: Responding to work. I ignored a lot yesterday. I kept my phone on silent. It didn't help much.

Failure Day 13

Today's Failure: I failed to make it back to work to pick up the fabric I need to work on. I ran, I ate dinner, I need to shower and I am super sleepy. Not going to happen tonight. Blah!

Failure Day 12

Yesterday's Failure: I failed to see the end to "Number 17". It was Hitchcock Day and we laid down on the couch at the end of a long day to watch one we'd never seen. I struggled to keep my eyes open but I failed right at the end.

I'm going to go wiki the plot now...

Failure Day 11

Today's Failure: I failed to get food before everything in downtown Pittsburgh closed because it's Sunday. I wasn't that hungry. It's why I waited. But as soon as a food source was completely unavailable is when the real hunger set in.

I only have to last until 9:30p.... ish.

Failure Day 10

Today's failure: I failed to supervise the last dance show today. Fed up with work, I decided to spend time with my family.

Failure Day 9

Today's Failure: Gym Fail: Left music in car. Wore lacy underwear. Wore robot socks.

And she kicked my ass.

Failure Day 8

Yesterday Failure: I failed at going to the grocery store. I had packed my coupons but then got really really tired. I did not go. I still have no food.

Failure Day 7

Yesterday's failure: Failure to take my pills at the right time.

The alarm on my phone goes off and I am no where near my medicine. This also greatly decreases the chance I'll remember when I get home.

Failure Day 6

Today's failure: Personal training. I showed up 10 minutes late and forgot my gym bag. Still used my extra time to bitch to my trainer in the lobby about my life.

Failure Day 5

Yesterday's Failure: Failure to not see my ex-boyfriend. If wasn't a horrible idea but I should really get other friends.

Since I can't repeat the fact that I failed to update this again. I'll just have to add to it.

Failure Day 4

Yesterday's Failure: Failure to blog about a failure.

Failure Day 3

Today's Failure: Not letting work get to me when I'm not at work.

It was an issue I couldn't fix. It was an issue that wasn't my fault. And yet it still took hours out of my day and turned them into stomach-knotted-anger moments.

I tried. I failed.

Failure Day 2

Today's Failure: Taking out the trash.

It's not like I have much trash but the trash that I do have should be sitting on curb. It's not. It's still in the can. Because when I woke up this morning I had no idea what day it was.

Failure Day 1

Today's failure: Any work at all.

By the time I'd dropped Kevin off at the airport and made it into work I was a sad distracted mess. Work never had a chance.

Introduction to March

"Sometimes failure is good. Inspirational even. March: a failure a day." - Alex Lysiak

Food Diary - Feb 2

1 cheesy egg made with love by Kevin

wheat toast 2  (220) w/smart balance (100)

1 shot of whiskey

mac n cheese (8 million calories)

piece of dark chocolate (180)

smokehouse nuts (340)

dark chocolate

1 beer (Erie Railbender)

Food Diary - Feb 1

8a – 2 granola bars at work

1 lean pocket (240 cal)

2 more granola bars – because I was craving a candy bar

304 calories of broccoli, cheddar and white bean soup - homemade by ME

6 shots of whiskey

My trainer's response: "You've got to be kidding."

February - A new project & A small break

Hello! If you actually read this you might be thinking: It's February 3rd! What's the new daily project and where are the blog posts? Well things have been pretty stressful around here and so I wasn't able to give a lot of thought to this month's project. What I've decided on is a daily food diary. It was something that my personal trainer wanted me to do and started off a bit hilarious. It's also a good idea of have a clear picture of what you put in your body every day. It's going to be hard for me to keep up but I'll work at it. Hopefully I'll also add in some pictures or recipes along the way, as soon as my diet isn't based around granola bars.

This also means that the posts will be referencing food from the day before.

Resolution #31

Resolution Number 31

Look back at these resolutions regularly.

This has been a fun monthly daily project thing. I remember days where I had trouble thinking of things, you know, like for a second I was perfect. Ha! There are a bunch I've already broken and that's ok. I'm not going to forget them and I'll keep working on them. Maybe Feb 2013 will be "Update Month"!!

Resolution #30

Resolution Number 30

I will not get sunk by my own wedding (or anyone elses).

A wedding can be stressful, expensive, full of details, stuff, drama, and disastrous. A bride can be a bridezilla, a bitch, picky, unrelenting, selfish, and impossible. The results of those two are "the best day of your life." ARE YOU SERIOUS? What kind of crap is that?

My wedding is going to be a fun gathering of family and friends with some good food. Sure, there's details but those are going to be fun too. And if anything isn't perfect, it's ok because I'll be damned if it's the best day of my life!

Resolution #29

Resolution Number 29

Write more reviews.

I value product reviews a lot. I never try a recipe without reading all the reviews and they have made a significant different between which products I actually buy on many occasions. I should help others by writing reviews myself of products that I have liked or disliked.

Resolution #28

Resolution Number 28

Finish my resume.

I think it would be healthy to update ones resume every year. But right now I want to finish mine before the weekend is out. Unfortunately I almost threw the computer across the room while trying to format the header. This is going to be a tough little battle.

Resolution #27

Resolution Number 27

Revamp my wardrobe. 

It's no secret that I don't have any fashion sense. The most glaring fashion crime I committed was in my awkward early teens. A black top hat, frizzy hair, orange rim glasses, hippie skirt, generic combat boots, and a bodysuit. After that travesty I transformed into jeans and a t-shirt which morphed to jeans and a tank top. Nowadays my closet is an odd mix of items I've purchased to conform t work dress codes. None of it is very flattering or inspires confidence. Recently I've let out a good groan when I open my closet. I'd like to take stock of what I have, let go the things that are not working, and replace them with more suitable alternatives. I don't want to hate my closet anymore.

Resolution #26

Resolution Number 26

Commit to my fitness plan.

I have entered the world of people like celebrities and health nuts. I have a personal trainer. Today was my first meeting with her. She weighed me and measured me and took my pulse, twice. We talked, in the awkward way that I try to talk to strangers. One of the questions was "If you've been going to the gym so long, why have you never had a personal trainer." "Intimidation, schedule, and money. Simple answer. "Why now?" Sister. Simple answer. She inspires me. And it won't hurt to be hot for my wedding or anyone elses.

Resolution #25

Resolution Number 25

Send more postcards. Get more postcards.

I really don't have a lot of control over the second part of that but maybe the first will influence it. Why shouldn't I discover the joy of jotting down a nice note on a nice picture and dropping it in the mailbox! Postcard postage is now $.32 and I can mail any postcard up to 6" x 1-1/4". I should be able to send at least one a month. Good goal!

Resolution #24

Resolution Number 24

Cycle my jeans.

I don't know of anyone that would argue that you can't wear jeans more than once. I'll admit to wearing jeans 3 or 4 days in a week. My problem is that I don't cycles them as much as I should. I should alternate which two pairs I will occupy that week. Sure, I don't think anyone notices that I wear the same pair 4 days straight, but I'm sure at some point someone has noticed or wondered. And it's bad enough I've got no style and a limited closet. The least I can do is switch my pants back and forth.

Resolution #23

Resolution Number 23

Have more people over for dinner.

It's no secret. Kevin and I can host a nice dinner party. We can do this in spite of the fact that we don't have a dining room table. We just had a nice taco night for my parents and Andy. We did a holiday brunch for 10 people and we cooked Xmas Eve dinner this year. We have a nice house that's easy to find right now. We should take advantage of these facts and host more people! We even have a guest room! Wait a second. I'm saying "we" a lot. I can't actually make a resolution for both of us. And I can't host without him. 

Does this count?

Resolution #22

Resolution Number 22

Sew something.

I've got a great sewing machine. After everywhere I've dragged it and stored it and let kids use it, it still works (I'm pretty sure). I was pretty good at sewing. Not great, but pretty ok. I've been stock piling some awesome fabric for awhile and now it's time to sit down and sew something. I want to make a coin purse and a goblin doll. And then maybe a dress or something. This is the year for the sewing machine!

Resolution #21

Resolution Number 21

Read the whole thing.

I'm not sure when it happened but recently I noticed that I have a short attention span for articles and web sites. I'll read the first paragraph, skim the second, and give up before I read an ending. It's a habit I abhor. I haven't identified if it's my whole attention span or just reading short bursts of information. Maybe it's because I sit in front of this damned laptop for so many hours in the day. 

I mean... seriously... I can spend so much of my days close to this laptop but when it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with my life. But that's another resolution all together....

Resolution #20

Resolution #20

Make more videos.

I probably could have just made this resolution "Make more" but right now videos are on my mind. These are the facts: I love watching Jenna Marbles and My Drunk Kitchen. I want to be both of them, except I wouldn't say "dicks" so much. I was also video making before youtube was around. Remember the summer of '02? Neither do I but luckily I had a video camera stuck to the hand that wasn't holding the booze. Even though I was a bit crazy and there may be a few questionable moments recorded, I am still glad for the moving window into my world. 

What's this going to take? A camera. Check! I've got a Flip! Remembering to have it with me. Remembering to use it. People around me who don't mind me taping them. Me not minding taping myself. Maybe I could make some laptop camera videos like on youtube? That means I'd also need something interest or funny to say or do...

Hmmm... time to start thinking!

Resolution #19

Resolution Number 19

Learn to lie.

I am honest by design. My lying skills are non-existent. If a lie comes out of my mouth it is the biggest brightest thing in the room and everyone can tell. If I chose to say nothing at all, every emotion and thought is written on my face. I thought this was a good thing. It's good to be an honest, transparent person, right? NO! It makes me see-through and easily manipulated. Also, my first reactions may not be the best or most thought out. I should have time to mold my thoughts and feelings before sharing them. 

I'm going to learn to lie. I'm not sure how. I'll probably google "how to lie." I'll practice on small things first. I'll practice on Kevin so he can tell me how I'm doing. I'll look for a good mentor and copy them. 

And maybe I'll lie about my next resolution!

Resolution #18

Resolution Number 18

Conquer this mid-life crisis.

Maybe you can relate: You've been doing something your whole life and suddenly you're not sure you ever want to do it again. Maybe you've always taken the easy route and now you question if you ever really wanted anything you've ever had. Maybe your childish fantasies of running away have morphed into real adult life questions of what to do next.

Resolution #17

Resolution Number 17

Draw more comics.

At the beginning of the year it seemed as if I just lost my comic steam. Last night I finally sat down and drew out a nice 6 panel one and I loved it. So more comics. Yes.

Resolution #16

Resolution Number 16

I will not let this wedding kill me.

Nope. Not gonna let it get to me. Not all the planning or the details or the money or the... Damn. I'll start this one tomorrow.

Resolution #15

Resolution Number 15

Keep Shorty hydrated.

Shorty may be a million years old. No one knows. He's been living with me as my hermit crab since July 2010. I could probably go on and on about how I never expected to get attached to a hermit crab as a pet but instead I'll stick to my resolution. Sometimes when he hides for days, I might let his water dish get dry. But no more!

Resolution #14

Resolution Number 14

Don't be so afraid of change. Take more chances.

Maybe that's two but they seem connected. Especially in my career I've always taken the most obvious next step. I let jobs and advancement come to me. That may leave me now as a 30 yr old who's not sure who she is or what she wants but I don't think it's too late. Resolution number 14 might just help with that.

Resolution #13

Resolution Number 13

Stop snoozing in the morning so much.

If you know me, you know that I've suffered from nightmares my whole life, vivid, horrendous nightmares. A couple of months ago I got a pill that helps take them away. It's quite impressive. But I still get them in the morning and I realized it's because I hit the snooze button regularly and frequently. I know that snooze button habits aren't good for a number of reasons but I've got that big one to add. I just have to figure out how to get out of bed on the first ring.

Resolution #12

Resolution Number 12

Be direct and assertive.

Sometimes I think that I allow people to get away with too much. I think it's because then I can be lazier. I'm very worried about being lazy these days. I will try to be direct about my needs (mostly in my job) and then there won't be any questions.

Resolution #11

Resolution Number 11

Visit more.

I was thinking about this on my walk to work as I passed the aviary located .3 miles from my house. I haven't been there in years. Such an easy trip. Something to fill my life with more color. Then I started thinking of all the other places I'd like to visit and that lead me to the people I'd like to visit and the grand adventures that encompass it all. Even though this is a pretty open ended resolution I think I'll do more if I keep it in the back of my mind.

Resolution #10

Resolution Number 10

Create a few more routines in my life.

Routines are healthy. They give your life a little bit of structure which leads to a bit of balance. And balance is really healthy. I'm old enough to respect this thought now and still young enough to need to break out of it once in awhile too. 

Resolution #9

Resolution Number 9

Stay hydrated this year.

This should be an easy one. Drink water. It's free. I have a cool water bottle. It affects so much. But I still go through waves of desert like appetite for the wet stuff. It would be much easier if I liked doing it.

Resolution #8

Resolution Number 8

Remember that sports are sports a little more.

We lost. We lost to Denver. The world did not end. Even if Monday was horrible.

Resolution #7

Resolution Number 7

I am going to go to museum exhibits prior to the day before they close.

Today Kevin and I ventured down the street to the Andy Warhol Museum to see the Alex Ross exhibit. It closes tomorrow. The last exhibit I saw there was the Marilyn Monroe exhibit. The day before it closed. It's good that I get down there to see it, but the day before it closes is always crowded and I'm rushed and anxious. This year, when I see any exhibit that interests me, I'm going to make a plan to see it in the beginning or middle of it's time in the space.

Resolution #6

Resolution Number 6

Make new friends.

I may have just told Kevin that we had to make friends like in that show "something your mother..." or something. You know, friends like Doogie Houser. But on the serious side, I learned a lot last year about friends. I saw the numerical (quantity) of my friends drop as soon as I changed my "status.' I sat awkwardly at a bar with someone I thought was my friend as he decided I wasn't worth hanging out with if I was "serious" about Kevin.  I also realized that there are some friends who are genuine good people even if you haven't seen them for 10 years. It really is about quality, not quantity.

Still... I could use a couple more this year.

Revolution #5

Revolution Number 5

See more stars in 2012.

As I was walking home from work today I spotted a lone star in the sky. This isn't a usual site since we live in the city and it's a mostly overcast city. The single star was in a colorful sky tonight and it really added something to my walk. Then I realized it is January 5th and we'd missed the first meteor shower of the year. It was supposed to be a good one too. I started to think about all of the celestial occurrences that I wanted to see, planned to see, said I was going to see, and then didn't. Most like I went to bed. Well this year I'm staying up and making a date with the sky. Hopefully I'll bring my camera along too!

Resolution #4

Resolution Number 4

Walk to work more.

This may have been a resolution I started on January 2nd but I never formalized it. I started off this year worrying about a lot of things, one of which was money. Parking costs me between $5 - $20 a day downtown depending on if I have to move my car in the middle. That could really add up and as I live 2 miles from work, walking is accessible. Sometimes it may be so cold I can't feel my legs, but it's nothing that's going to kill me. Plus I get to log it as exercise. Everyone wins! Oh... except the hour and 15 minutes I lose a day.

Resolution #3

Resolution Number 3

Stop checking Facebook first thing in the morning.

I've got a handful of websites I check every day. It's a good list of interesting sites. The problem happens when I check each of them a hundred times. With an estimated 7 million active websites lounging around this interweb, there must be something of more substance out there for me than a funny text or new craft.

One of the real problems for me is Facebook. It was (is?) a great way for me to keep in touch with people I normally wouldn't correspond with, however the posts are now very often clips of music videos or news articles. It's bordering on spam. What I'd really like these people to do is tell me how they're doing, what they're thinking or how they're feeling. But that might just be the voyeur in me. 

Either way, Facebook is off limits first thing in the morning. Check the news, Kate. Or the weather. Or kiss Kevin on his forehead some more. Then start your day.

Resolution #2

Resolution Number 2

Clean out junk e-mails.

Right now my personal e-mail account has 5427 e-mails in it. My work e-mail has 3589. Every day I wake up to 2-5 e-mails from companies and throughout the day e-mails just keep streaming in. I may unsubscribe to some e-mails and I'm definitely going to go in right now and start deleting. Let's see how many I can get rid of!

Resolution #1

Resolution Number 1

Stop drinking so much I can't remember things.

I assume this is a resolution that many people make on the morning of January 1st and I was no exception. I'm not naive enough to swear off alcohol all together. I am just a bit too grown up to get trashed. It was fun spending a second year finishing on a 5th of Jameson on the walk home with my fiance but maybe I'll get a smaller bottle next year.

P.S. The only true cure for my hangovers are a buffalo chicken sandwich from Dennys.

New Month = New Project

It's the third month for my Projects by the Day and it kind of hit me unexpectedly. The holidays rolled by quickly and busily and I found myself having to catch up on my pictures of the day. I didn't give a minute's thought to this month's project. Then it hit me: I'll make a resolution. One every day.

I've never been infatuated with making resolutions at New Years, preferring to make my resolutions as they come to me, throughout the year. I believe a person should never stop trying to better themselves and personal critique is a major part of that.

Some of my resolutions may be big. Others may be small. Some will happen immediately and some will never be completed but I'll assess and set goals, 31 of them, until this month is over!

Picture Day 31 - End of a Year

The last picture of this project. The last picture of the year.